Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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