friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
