He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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