i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
