You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
