You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
You know, be my cock's hype man.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
