I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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