If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
