Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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