Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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