we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
