a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
