i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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