I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
