Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
