As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
