Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
