Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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