dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
