Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
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