im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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