i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
