There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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