I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
