Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
How external is "for external use only"?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
