Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
