he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
