I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
And then my night got REAL pukey
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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