I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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