she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
