marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
