Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
