I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
