so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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