I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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