So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
