Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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