i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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