hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
cat food counts as protein by the way
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
