he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
