My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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