also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
