drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
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