Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
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