I only kidnapped one of them. chill
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
