There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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