Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
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battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
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After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Holy shit dude........stairs
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