she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
My butt remains clenched, sir.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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