before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Randomize
