his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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