Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
