He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
