I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
