So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
