Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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