That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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