why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
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we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
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The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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