so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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