I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
